Friday, 30 September 2011

What is a Wish?

This week in RLA we had visiting poets, and I was inspired to write a poem. Yay!
Inspired by Sara Holbrook and Michael Salinger

What is a Wish?

A wish is feeling like a rock star for a day,
instead of being reminded that I am sick.
It is cheeks up, teeth smiling with
an angelic presence.

It is being a celebrity at my school,
 while thunder and lightening come together with good lucks cheers.
It is a river of red T-shirts  
while my peers declare acceptance.
It is encouragement from my family.

A wish sounds like a hallway full of teachers and friends saying my name after daydreaming of being popular.
It won't silence or make me feel alone.
A wish won't disappear,
like my mom's fresh out-of-the-oven vanilla cake.
It was a different experience in itself.

And I haven't stopped smiling all day! :=)

Monday, 12 September 2011

My Family: The Soldiers

My family and I are very close. We tell each other everything. But when it comes to showing emotion: never. Ever.  So this is my way of saying, "I love you all." Every person in my family is one of my real life heroes. And here is why.

My sister is my hero because she is compassionate about other peoples needs.

Francesca Fairclough is my happy, annoying little sister. She has had different experiences from most 10-year olds. When my mom, Francesca and I decided to make DC cupcakes, it was my sister who made sure that I was able to see the flour being sifted, the eggs being cracked and milk being poured. She let me taste the batter and she put my hand on the whisk while we stirred the the mixture.   She is the person I bug, when I have no one else to bug. My sister feels - a lot. A bar of chocolate or a piece of warm melted cake could bolt an hour long run of Francesca's "I'm so happy, are you happy?" This shines light on my day. An angel one minute, my sister can also make me want to drive my wheelchair into her and not stop. We can yell about at each other for hours. (It's a blog, it's honest.) I love you Francesca, seriously. I love that you felt while I was in the pool. You are so compassionate. I love that you were right next to me, holding my hand. 

My brother is my hero because he is a mini-version of my dad without the tattoo or the tan.

Zachary Fairclough is my big brother. Zach is the one who helps me with my math homework. When I am stuck on a problem, he will come into my room, like Superman, and say in perfect Singlish, "I heard you have a math problem-lah. Can I help you fix it?" I am grateful every day that he is my brother. Most of his friends are worried about homework, girls and when the next game or movie comes out, but not Zach. He is worried about grades, homework and me. I am grateful for my brother. I love you Zach. 

Daddy is my hero because of the strength and bravery that he shows me.

Stephen Fairclough is MY Daddy. After my stroke, it was hard for me to adjust, especially to the idea of going back to school in a wheelchair. But, my dad encouraged me to go for it, even though I was reluctant. Getting ready and going to school, he pushed me until I could stand on my own six wheels. (My wheelchair has six wheels.) He held my hand while I cried my way through my first nose suction. He is my pusher. He pushes me when he knows I can do something. He pushes me to do it right. When he comes home from a long day of work, he will help me in and out of my chair. He asks me, "Babes, how was your day? What did you do today? What was for lunch?" Once a week, during the summer, my dad would take me to see a movie and then we would eat McDonald's. It was our Tuesday daddy/daughter date. 

Mommy is my hero because of the emotional strength she shows me everyday.

Sandra Fairclough is MY Mommy. She is the person I look to when I want to talk about my fears and bad dreams at 3 O'clock in the morning. She might be sleeping but she will come anyway. When my fears turn to dying, my mom listens and assures me that she will always stay next to me. She is my rock. My constant. My mom fed me Ben and Jerry's Vanilla ice cream while I was in the hospital, read me People Magazine, watched The Devil Wears Prada with me over and over again, and she kissed me on the forehead and hand told me she would have gelato with me after my surgery. When I come home from school and I'm in a crappy mood, my mom is still a happy, chipper mom. Mom, you lift my spirits in every way humanly possible. I know I couldn't have made it through the hospital visits, the shots, the IVs, and anything else without your hand. I love you, Mom. Seriously though, we totally need Ben and Jerry's ice cream to watch the Vampire Diaries with.  

I am saying it proud and loud, I love you all. Thank you for your little quirks. Those quirks always help brighten my day. 

Monday, 5 September 2011

I wish I may, I wish I might...

I closed my eyes as five men lifted the red mat. I am on it. I'm thinking the three don't s: don't fall, don't trip, don't drop me. I'm on the red mat in a swim suit. My dad, my brother, Zach, my brother's best friend, Dave,  Dave's dad, Mr. Dee, and my Make a Wish coach, Danny: I know their names because I'm trusting them with my life. All of these people are helping me to achieve my wish.

I wished upon a star that one day I might swim again. September 3, 2011, my wish came true. I was like a fish returning to a fish bowl. When my body first touched the water, I felt that I was safe. I was safe because I felt the love from each person holding me.  I felt relaxed. It was the most relaxed I have ever felt. 

Floating around the pool, I could feel the water touch my arms. The water was warm and the waves sang a song to my whole body,  "boom-ba, boom-ba, boom-ba".  It was as if the water was hugging me hello.  As I floated, my mind was watching a slide show of pictures from the last time I remember swimming with my brother and sister. I wore a vibrant multi-colored  two piece. It was my favourite. My siblings and I were playing splash, unfair advantage, two girls against the boy. It didn't stop him from beating us. Saturday, the water felt like home. The pool used to be my best friend and nothing had changed. 

I will see my old friend again soon. I'm going swimming again and this time, I am more excited than nervous.  

Friday, 2 September 2011

Wishing on a Star and IT COMING TRUE!

Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved being in water. I went in the pool almost every single day. The pool was one of my best friends. Six o'clock in the morning, my first thought was always the pool. The water would whisper my name. The water and the rush of cold would make me feel wide awake. After school, I would visit and play with my friend, the pool. 

Swimming was always a way to connect with my body. On land, I couldn't run as fast as the others, and I had terrible balance. In the water, I didn't have these limits. In the water, I could play gymnast. I could play cheerleader. I could even be a mermaid if I wanted to. On land, feeling like a penguin was a disadvantage, but in the water, it was an advantage. Being in the water, it didn't matter what if I waddled like a penguin. In the water, I could swim like a fish. The water on my skin brought me feelings hope. But then, I got sick; and, those feelings of being in the water had to stop. But they have never gone away.

One evening as I was whining through my algebra, studying for my final exam, Mom bounced in. She said, "I got a phone call today. It was the Make A Wish Foundation. I wished for George Clooney." "Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha," sarcastically, I laughed, "You're very funny mother." She told me they wanted to make MY wish come true and that they were coming to our house to find out what my George Clooney wish would be.  My first thought was that I wanted to see the premier of Glee, season 3, in person, because I am such a Gleek. I also thought about meeting someone famous, not George Clooney, but maybe Kelly Clarkson or Nina Dobrev, the star of the Vampire Diaries. I also changed my mind to a makeover. 

My brother suggested that I go swimming (he suggested this in his fake British accent). At first, I thought no way. I can't go through all of those happy memories followed by heartbreak because I won't be able to do it again. Then, I thought about floating. When I float, I daydream. I daydream about being able. I wanted to feel floating again. I want to feel able. I wanted to feel the water on my skin. I wanted it to be how it was before I got sick.

Tomorrow, I get to feel the water. Tomorrow, I get to feel able again. Tomorrow is the first time in five years that I get to feel normal. Tomorrow is the first time I will go in the pool. Tomorrow is my final practice with my family -  my heroes. Their effort, and patience, has made this happen. If this works, I will go in the water again for everyone else. After tomorrow, I will be surrounded by friends and more family. That day will feel like everyone coming to my party. That day everyone gets to see how lively I can be. That day, I WILL be the life of the party.

I am OVERPOWERED with nerves. I am hopeful. I am inspired. I am excited. I am terrified.

I am going swimming tomorrow!

I will post pictures soon.