Wednesday, 12 December 2012

It's Christmas Time

I have mixed feelings about Christmas.  If you ask anyone else some will say it's the happiest time of the year.  I will say when is it over?  I like to avoid Christmas and the feelings I feel when it comes around each year.  Christmas reminds me of the hospital and old memories of me walking.  Would you honestly say you still like Christmas if you were me?  Sometimes it can be cool: the music, the lights, the aroma and aura of happiness and joy.  But none of those elements combined can take away my guilt, sadness or grief.  But I always get a wish list every year so here is mine for this year.

1. A book tree of all of the latest fantasy fiction books like the one in the high school library. That tall, that big.

2. New wheels and spares.  While my wheels get really cool every time I paint I feel like I need new ones for school and for each exhibition I do.

3.  A phone.  I don't care who says what about me.  I currently have my brother's old iPhone but I don't have a sim card or a number so it's really just an itouch that looks like an iPhone   I just want the freedom of calling someone or having my parents ask me what time I want picking up by calling or text.  It sounds ordinary but it's so far from it.

4. A bunch of movies.  While I love music and all I'm currently more obsessed about movies and books than I am about music.  Because there are more movies that I would love to watch again than there are songs and stories such as the latest Twilight and  then there is the latest Underworld  and of course theres Brave.  And then some old movies as well like Love Actually  and One Day.

5.  To rearrange my room.  I'm currently hating my room so I would love to redecorate it not with paint or anything but just reorganize it.  Add more shelves, remove a bunch of stuff and add a doorknob with a lock.  I'm currently without a lock on my door.  How crazy would you be without true privacy?

6.  A haircut.  Possible highlights, maybe color highlights like red or something insane but hair length goes shorter like much, much shorter.  Possibly pixie cut.  Because I need a way for my care takers to hold me they've always pulled my pony tail.  Even though it sounds insane it works but I'm done, I'm so done with the pulling of the pony.  It is just frustrating because it is just a pull and it can change my whole position and state.

So, this my wish list of what I want before I'm a sophomore.  I'm giving mom and dad a little leeway and time.  But until then I'm trying not be the Grinch of Christmas, it's just really hard.   But in the meantime if you would like to see me embarrass myself I am performing in the high school winter collage where I will sing a bunch of stuff and I will look really pretty.  It's on Friday the 14th at 7pm.  If you come great if not, great.

Since I am in the mood I will leave you with a current favorite song.

Some Nights- Glee. This song expresses how I feel and am feeling.


Ta, Ta

Monday, 19 November 2012

I am Thankful for...


  • My Family
- My Brother- who supports me and tries his best to look after me when no one else can.  While dealing with what everyone else goes through he is still my extraordinary brother and one of my supermen.  
-My Dad- who tries his very best to work and spend a lot of time with me and is like Super Dad in my eyes and there is nothing he can do that will make me stop loving him.  He is one of my supermen in my life.  
-My Mom- who runs around like a maniac to make sure that not only me but my entire family has what we need and want.
-My Sister- who I share a love/hate relationship with and who is a constant reminder of who I was and I can be again.  
-My Extended Family- who are all over the world and and are busy doing what they need to do for their own families but are always connected to us and are concerned that I am alive and well.
  • Pat
-I am thankful for Pat everyday because I know that I would not where or who I am without her.  She pushes me to my limit and I love and hate her sometimes but at the end of the day I know that she wants what's best for me and I want what's best for her.  

  • School
-School gives me a distraction from my negative emotions and helps me connect to the world.  Everyone at school is very understanding and compassionate towards me and my family.  And I don't think there is anything I can do to repay any of them.  This kind of generous community, in a way, gave me my life back.  
  • Art
-Art gave me something that I can't do with music or say.  It's my barrier.  Everyone can look at a piece of writing and say I can do better or I've seen better.  But with my art I doubt anyone in the world can truly say out loud it's not unique and that anyone but me can do it.  It gives me a piece of identity.
  • Music
-Music, like art, helps me to say or do anything that I wouldn't be able to do.  It gets rid of my ego.  And yes, I do have an ego.  It connects me to other people when I feel completely alone.  Or it's just a way to annoy or embarrass me.  It flushes my mind.  When I listen to my favorite song or a classic I just envision myself dancing it out and some how when the song is done I am happy and positive.  Or asleep.
  • Books
-Books help me escape reality.  For an hour or almost the entire day I escape and I don't want to stop.  Because when I stop all I realize is that the vampire falls in love with the girl or that the girl tries to save herself.  But none of that is reality.  All that I am left with are dreams.  Dreams of what would happen if I was the girl in my latest book?  What would be different?  And those dreams are like my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  
  • Movies
-Movies probably effect everyone.  Movies can change your perspective about a little detail or a big picture thats happening in your life or in the world.  Movies for me are like books, art and music they're different but similar.  Movies tell me a story that continuously surprise and inspire me.  Whether I am watching Twilight or Batman or even Beauty and the Beast.  I am constantly inspired to be better at anything from being a sister to having a realization about love.  


  • My Wheelchair
-My wheelchair is awesome.  It is the icing on the cake.  I love being in my wheelchair to go to school or a movie or a possible walk around my neighborhood.  I love my wheelchair and the aftermath doesn't matter because I know I'm safe and in control about what I do.  I don't really have much control about my life except when I am in this chair it's my ticket to anywhere and everywhere.  Even though it's old it's also awesome.  
  • My friends
-I am grateful for all those who are always around.  The ones I have,  and for the ones I might have.  I am constantly meeting new people and along the way I'm hoping to make some of them friends.  

  • The people that believe in me
-I am especially grateful for the people that believe in me.  From my family to all the amazing people who came to the Paintability exhibition  and to absolute strangers and to long time friends.  I never thought that I could be here in 2012 much less have an art exhibition.  I know that I'm not the easiest person to deal with but knowing that people around me are supportive of who I am and are willing to put up with my difficulties inspires me to be awesomer.

Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you will leave a comment and tell me what you are thankful for.

Sunday, 4 November 2012

Goals

I am a terrible person when it comes to keeping goals.  I don't know why but I just either don't fulfill them or I give up on them very quickly.  So when it comes to school related goals, I am not any better.  I usually write a goal that I want to fulfill and then half way through the quarter or semester or year I will have fulfilled it and forgotten that I have so I have a bad memory when it comes to this sort of work.  I guess I'm old in that sense.  But when it comes to creative goals and personal goals I have to try extra hard to remember because I created them for a reason, so what did I create them for?

For my personal goals some are really unachievable but to me there hope instead of a goal.  One of the current personal goals I have is that I will walk before I graduate either from college or high school but I really want to walk across the stage to receive my diploma instead of wheel across.  I really like the fact that I am different but sometimes I feel like its the only thing that is my worst enemy.   Because I have this disability I can do so many amazing things that I never knew existed like my artwork and driving before I have a driver's license.  I also can't do things that I would love to do like showing my sister the mistakes in her dance routine, performing in the same routine as her, going to dance and meeting a guy that I like.  Some people will say that these things don't matter and that people will see me for who I am.  It gets harder to believe that even though you want to it just gets harder to have the hope and the drive of achieving normal.  And the older I get the more I am missing out on.  But I guess I can always live through my sister's life.

My creative goals, however extreme,  are always achievable because theres no limit on creativity and imagination.  I imagine a lot of things from really cool idea about a piece of artwork to a choreographed dance routine to a song to a blog in my head.  I always have a creative wheel turning and it never stops.  I read a lot of books that encourage the wheel to turn.  Whenever it's serious and realistic book I loose some creativity and imagination because this could or did happen to someone and that scares me.  Through many imaginative outlooks the creative wheel never stops when it does it takes everything in me not to cry and weep because there is no hope.

Last Thursday, I did a beautiful, crazy, unfathomable piece of artwork for a paint company.  I cannot remember their name or I forgot what it is spelled like.  I had to feature their color of the year which was a indigo blue.  At the beginning of this painting I was under the impression that their color of the year was a dark purple which drastically changed the outcome of the painting.  It turned out to be a beautiful disaster.  Like all of my pieces it was unique and unforgettable.  There is a video of this beautiful disaster which I will post next.  There are really cool pictures and scenes from this video accenting the wheel movements.

For all of you who are new and who don't know me and think I exaggerate a lot I dare you to come up to me and ask to drive my chair.  Even though I am a 14 year old, I can still drive this chair better than any other person who has attempted to drive it so far.  My parents might be able to drive a van with a stick but I can drive a wheelchair with my mouth.  And I will rock this chair until someone in this bizarre universe can prove me wrong or can upstage my awesomeness.

Except the challenge or dare but until next time,

Ta, Ta

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Wheelie Art gone global.

My art work was shown at the Paralympic Games.  For more info. search for Paintability and like the page for daily updates about my art life.

Red

 I feel like I'm losing my mind but I'm still in my mind.  It's freaking me out.  It feels good to have a week off next week.  I seriously need it.  But I've been a busy bird since I have last posted.  Here's a little summary of how my week went.

Saturday I went to a Ronald McDonald House Charity Gala thingy.  I donated a painting to the live auction as well as another painting to the physical house at NUH.  Apparently this is the first time in a long time they've built a house in Singapore.  My presence was mandatory.  During cocktail hour or something like it, I spent most of the time listening to music and trying to drown out the other voices in the room.  Let me tell you there were a lot.   The dinner was entertaining.  They had a street type drum band perform first.  And while dinner was being served, well the first course, they played one of the longest I have ever heard of.  No vocals!  It was hard but I survived, unfortunately the food wasn't good.  It was healthy.  And to me healthy is poison.  To please my mother I tried a bit of every course.  It was good, bad, smelly and fancy all at once.  It was just so bad for me, I didn't even get to have dessert because my mom made me leave at 10..  Speeches were informational and long.  I could go on and on (hey I am only 14 I don't like speeches).  Probably the thing I liked best about the evening was the amazing bears they auctioned.


There was however a really great moment when I got a teddy bear from the McDonalds people.  She was dressed up like a character from Downton Abbey.  So I named her Downton.  She looked like the character that Maggie Smith plays.  I was hooked instantly.


Sunday! I slept with Downton Bear next to me.  I slept for most of the day or so I think.  I woke up, studied Biology, watched tv and while studying Biology I carelessly fell asleep.  But I woke up and relaxed the rest of the day.  Everything went smoothly, maybe because my siblings weren't there to disturb me when studying.  Or maybe not.




Monday.  I had the blues.  Everything was so long.  To me the classes I had were so much longer by lunch it felt like Wednesday.  But I pushed through.  Until around 3 ish where I completely fell apart.  I started to cry and ended up crying and embarrassing my brother.  It was one of those days that started out bad and got worse until I cracked and completely fell apart about everything.  I felt like I had no control over what I did and what I couldn't do.  So my brother cheered me up and sat next to me while we went home.  I was smiling by then.

Tuesday brought hope.  And less homework.

Wednesday I bonded.  Because it was PLAN testing for all 9th graders.  I ended up spending 3-4 hours in a room with only Mrs. Flores.  It was easy and hard at the same time.  It was easy because I ended up doing really well on the test.  It was hard because it was 3-4 hours.  But it was always early release so I ended up reading for 30 minutes and then went to continue to work on a mater piece at 2 o'clock.  I ended up painting for a really long time.  Over.  Two. Hours.  On a piece that isn't finished.  I'm good but not patient.  Or so I'm told.

Today was a good day.  I bumped my grade up in World History.  Which has been my goal.  So I am feeling really good even though I had a test in World History.  Math was good because I finished it before I was supposed to.  Spanish is hard.  It's harder to learn a language with a different grammar system as well as all of the rules of it.  But I tried my best and I will keep trying my best until I am a winner.  Like Charlie Sheen said "just keep winning" or something like that.

This is a summary of my week so far. Since the last blog this is what has happened.  I am so good at the moment I'm going to watch my sister perform which I said wouldn't do.

To leave you with words of wisdom and because I'm in the mood here is a  song by Taylor Swift that I think you will really like: Pay attention to the reference of colors to emotions. Enjoy





Toodles xoxo

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Change

Change is a very fickle thing.  You can never have too much but sometimes it gets overwhelming.  From changing schools or countries to changing your hair color or style, change is very different.  Whether it's good or not, is up to you.  The change in my life always seems to be dramatic.  It was big.  Since that change, everything that's changed since isn't as big.  Until my brother goes off to college.  That will be a BIG change.

This week I'm becoming nostalgic when it comes to Zach.  Every time I have lunch at school and I'm not in the same place as him, I try to get a sneak glimpse of him while he is having fun with his friends. He doesn't see me or at least I hope he doesn't.  But I see him.  And I know that for the rest of the day, I got a glimpse of Zach and he's alright.  With everything going on with me right now, it's important for me to get these glimpses so that he reminds me that I'm alright too.

My sister, however, I do not share this nostalgia with.  In fact, whenever I see her at school, it's as if we play a competition.  Who can act like the bigger pain in the ass?  Of course in my mind, she'll always win.  Maybe she doesn't see it as I do, but I always win in her mind too.  She is becoming more annoying and a bigger bigger sister.  She is trying to fill my shoes, even though I haven't gone anywhere.  Sometimes I wish she would remember how to be an 11 year old girl because she will always be my little sister - always.

Even though I talk the talk, they will always be my siblings and only I am allowed to make fun of them and pick on them.  Because it's my way of showing them that I am still here and I can still be the person I was.

This week in school, I've had a change in perspective.  For it finally hit me that I'm in high school and there is no room to mess up.  You always have to be on your game.  You always have to make sure that your mom doesn't see your grades.  Oops.  You always have to try your best and yet still try and be a kid.

Art helps me deal with this change.  And right now, it's doing a fantastic job.  I'm finally learning that art is my safe haven for all of my problems and that I truly go out of the art room better than I came in.

I know I'm late with this blog entry but with school being school, it's just finally getting around.

Until next time, ta-ta.

Monday, 1 October 2012

Entertainment. Gift or Curse?

I indulge in every bit of entertainment from watching something to reading a book for the whole day.  Either way I go, I always take it to the "extreme".  I guess that's my curse.  Whenever I have a temptation to watch a lot of tv I always end up getting yelled at for watching too much.  I would sit or lay in my bed and just read or watch from the minute I wake up until around 7 or 6 ish. That is on average over 10 or 11 hours every Sunday and big school break.  But I could never read or watch anything that is purely educational.  I think I would fall asleep faster than the title sequence would begin.  I suck at staying awake during those bits of boredom.  So I normally go to my "big extremes".  

My sister has now adopted my healthy habit.  But instead of reading its watching tv to going on her computer to going on her iphone.  I think I would break it so many times that there would be nothing left, not even a memory card.  It is driving me insane.  Every stupid second all I can see is her on her laptop or iphone or watching a tv.  I think to myself in that moment "she is my karma".   She is the personification of my parent's feelings when I go to my "extremes".  I understand but I'm still not going to change.  

Somehow my sister has figured out a way to take my "extremes" and make them more extreme.  If she goes on her laptop, it's like her laptop is her baby, she can't live without it.  If she is on her iphone, then we have to break it for her to realize she is on it too much.  If she is watching tv she mimics a character's personality and/or attitude as well as the catch phrase.  At the moment, she's in love with the tv show Awkward.  When I find the person who created this show I will sincerely thank him for ruining my life.  

Even though I have "extremes" I know what's good for me and what I need to do.  I don't really get much of a chance to have my own independence about what I do.  So whenever I go to my "extremes" I do it because it is the only way I'm doing something for me and not caring about the consequences.  I love to read. I love to watch tv and movies.  But I also love my family for some unforeseeable reason.  So whenever they say I am taking it too far I usually listen.  Usually.  

Until next time, ta ta.


Monday, 24 September 2012

Siblings

When experiencing holiday's, vacations and long weekends one must never forget their siblings.  After all, siblings either ruin everything or inspire everything.  Every person has a different opinion on their siblings except adults because they go "back when I was a kid...".  Seriously everybody had different siblings and I will give you the low down on mine.  Ok, younger siblings are the suck ups and trouble makers.  They can surprise you but they do it rarely.  Older siblings have quite the opposite effect.  Maybe it has something to do with age or maturity?  I don't know.  Older siblings are reliable and still act like younger siblings but also encourage you to be a better you.  I have two siblings one is older, one is younger and then there is me.

Francesca doesn't know when to stop being a kid and start being a grown up.  She needs to learn how to take responsibility and own up to her mistakes.  We fight as often as the ocean has a new set of waves, if you don't speak metaphor the answer is a lot of times.  We never stop.  But maybe that's a girl thing?  My brother and I never used to fight like me and her do.  I guess she just gets on my nerves so much that I blog about her almost every week, oops.  But in the end we are always besties.  I know she always has my back and then she will be there when I need her.  And that does not mean that it is cool when I get frustrated with her and she acts like the older sister.  In her mind some times I am not the older sister.  But she's always my younger sister.  Always.

Zachary is the opposite of Francesca.  He is my giant.  He does know when to be a grown up but does not know when to be a kid.  He cannot enjoy the simple things but that could be because he is a high schooler.  We are growing close and yet apart.  The more I grow close to Zach the more I drift from Fran.  I feel like you can't be both.  You can't choose Francesca and then choose Zachary.  I bet I know when I need him for advice or a killer soundtrack, he'll always come through.

So that's my weekly dish.  Especially since last weekend there was a drama between the two and a referee was called in and it wasn't me.  Check out my "Wheely Art" link and comment on the awesome video and art.

Wheely Art

Here's awesome video of me painting using new paint to create waves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTS_fZ03OfY

Monday, 10 September 2012

OOOOO..TO PAINT AGAIN

Wednesday I am painting again for the first time since the long lost summer.  If you follow the facebook paintability page then you know my mother has complete control and this is my first session again.  I have some really cool ideas on music, paintings and colors.

1. Two separate canvases, one with coins on the top and one with coins on the bottom.  The one with coins on the bottom will give it really cool texture as well as it will personify the colors and make them more dramatic or youthful depending on my mood.  For this piece I am thinking of naming it "New Money" because we all love it when we get money for the first time that we have completely earned on our own. It's amazing to know that just finishing some simple chores or helping someone out can give you a bonus too.  I might listen to Payphone by Maroon 5  and/or We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift.  But knowing me, either one will be equally awesome.  Yeah.

2. One big long canvas with soda can top thingies underneath.  They should give it a really authentic texture and it will be really interesting to see what the outcome looks like whether it is a disaster or a masterpiece.  The colors would be greens and yellows with blues and blacks and maybe white.  Since everyone is trying to take such a big role in helping our environment I thought my art would do the same thing.  The title would be "Eco-Friendly Art" but that title is a work in progress.  The music would be something old and new and Glee.  I might listen to Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better by Glee.  And/or Part Of Me by Katy Perry because I have a vision that this is what the Earth would say, if it could talk, that it would fight back with everything and anything it had left to give.

Wednesday I am painting again and I am excited but nervous.  As you can see I have a lot of amazing ideas.  I am just nervous that I won't live up to the height of my first exhibition but hopefully I can show everyone that I am made of more and when pushed to the limit I, like Earth, push back.

Please email me if you have any cool ideas or want to test a theory using my art.  Please feel free to drop by this Wednesday at Intermediate School, Kelly Mac's Art classroom at 3:15-4:00 for we will make magic happen.  Yeah!

Monday, 3 September 2012

I HATE MONDAY'S

Monday's suck. Monday's suck like "I broke my leg skiing suck".  After a glorious or horrid week you have to the temptation of a two day break or the weekend.  I would keep going on with the week but thats just me.  From lying in on Saturday morning to staying up late Saturday night to the scary realization that tomorrow is school on Sunday.  Monday's really suck.

My weekend went something like this: I don't know if this accurate because I was half asleep the entire weekend yeah! Friday I only spent half of the day at school because I had a doctors appointment, which would be fine except for the fact that my mom picked me up so not fun.  I got good news, bad news and ice cream.  Which is how I got pretty happy on Friday.  I saw some old friends in the PICU at NUH giving them a generous painting for my gratitude for all that they have done for me.

Then Saturday hit.  You get that feeling that it was a dream until you wake up and realize that you don't have to wake up.  You could sleep in,  you could watch TV, you could be a bat and sleep during the day and wake up at night.  I woke up.  Sleeping in sounded boring, watching TV sounded intriguing and being a bat sounded exhausting.  So I watched TV, I did my homework, I ate ridiculously bad junk food.  I was awesome.  My sister was out all day, my brother was half a mystery, my dad was working and I had my mom all to myself.  We had some awesome fun.  I caught up on all the things that I have missed while being a busy person during the week.  I was free, until my sister came home.  Then she put a spell on my good mood and turned it into wicked anger.

Sunday came and went as quickly as a pop tart takes to eat.  I got a visit from a friend, a neighbor and she introduced me to a new TV series called "Awkward".  I highly recommend it.  It is something out of my comfort zone that I seem to really enjoy.  The bad thing about that is my sister likes it.  Whenever me and my sister like something it means war.  It always turns into a competition, who can watch it the fastest?  Luckily she forgot where I hid it.  Sorry Fran,  you are just going to have to wait till we can watch it together.  But last night was a very bad sleep because my sister found my families curse.  We are cursed to go to bed early.  I have been where she is asking the questions why?  But surprisingly I don't mind going to bed early anymore.  I just really hope my sister can see that, it's a good thing, not a bad thing.

Today was a bad day it is Monday after all.  And I don't care what anybody says, no one likes Monday's.  They are a curse and mine sucks.  Hopefully this week gets better after all I am so looking forward to Thursday because I get to annoy the hell of Pat seeing as its her birthday and all.  Which means lots of giggles and cake.  It's always a special day.  Last year I made it a memorable one hopefully I can top it.  Until next time, ta ta.




Monday, 27 August 2012

I'm Back!

It's been a long time but I am finally back at blogging again.  Since my last post I've enjoyed an art exhibition (by me), seventy day summer vacation, meeting new people and teachers that will help me for the next four years of high school.  I am a freshman this year which is great because I don't see my sister often but I see my brother.  Which makes me smile and laugh.  It's the first time I'm in the same school as him.  Being two years older has it's bonuses.  But he's really nice to me when he sees me which is a very big surprise but a very good one.

New school year, new teachers, new workload YEAH.  School has changed from 8th to 9th grade.  You get a real kick in the ass the first day/year!  In high school it feels like everyday is a week.  There are so many highs but the same amount of lows.  My school subjects are: World History, Biology, Algebra, English, English Lab, Concert Choir and Spanish II.  And for the first time a free period.  The first day was the worst.  I had every class and very limited breaks between.  It picked up the rest of the week getting better and better each day, getting easier.  Until I finally got a weekend, then school faded and summer habits kicked in.  When I am back in school I fall into a routine and the weekend disrupts it.

So far it's my 10th day and I'm finally OK again with school, I guess I need a weekend to remind me to forget.  The homework is a lot but the time gives me the illusion that it's just enough.  So far my least favorite subjects are: World History, sorry Mr. Burnett but you give too much homework.  Concert choir, they take it too seriously.  Biology is not so bad.  English is a mix between good and bad, I can't decide if I like it or not.  Algebra is Algebra, I mean who really likes math class?  I guess it would be the geeks that became/become math teachers.  Spanish II is awesome, Mr. Norman combines the old and new ways and still teaches in a fun, unique way.  I guess I have my brother to thank for that.  English Lab is awesome too because I get time to learn more ways to pass time and be smarter in English and World History.

My family has become my worst nightmare.  My sister was a perfectly sweet/little devil of my life.  She was.  Now all I hear are exaggerations of how hard 6th grade is.  Seriously, Fran we have been in 6th grade and we all survived stop being a drama queen!  Summer is my mom's worst nightmare because everywhere she looks theres a little present from my dog who has become my best friend.  My dad and mom are working hard but still have time to take me on little adventures during summer and long weekends.  My brother is in love for the first time and I am supportive and that is new.

I am thinking about restarting art again since I took a break when school ended last year.  I haven't been painting much but I still want to paint.  I just don't know what to paint.  It lost it's fun.  But that is going to change once I get around to it.

 High school changes people and it's changing me.  While I don't see my friends that much I'm hoping I can still reach them through my blog.  The summer changes people good thing it's not summer anymore.  Please, please, please, please, please, send me an email or request or just want to talk to me at fairclough32284@sas.edu.sg.

 I do not check my facebook so email me if it's important or funny or if it's just to say hi.  I will say hi back.  I hated summer but I loved summer, I can say the same thing about school, I love being back but I hate the consequences of coming back.

Until next time, see ya wouldn't want to be ya.


Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow is the day of my exhibition! I am so completely nervous and stressed.  All I can think about is what could go wrong. I am also thinking about what can go right. My head is in the paint. I'm so focused on it that I feel like I am going to explode.

I'm most excited to see people's reactions to my paintings as well as the process. I'm also excited to see who actually turns up and who will get lost on the way to the gallery.

I don't have a favourite painting but my favourite colour to paint with is black. I see the black as strong and independent colours. It shows who I am in black - strong, fierce!

See you tomorrow.

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Painting Mandeville Paralympic Piece



 Yesterday was a crazy day for painting. I did four paintings and one of them was the Mandeville Paralympic piece. The theme of the painting was RED so no matter what, the pieces had a hint of red, but it was mostly pink. I started out with a red-pink swirl of paint. This represents the red in the Olympic logo. To me this symbolizes the finish line. I start with the finish line because that's what I imagine first. I imagine reaching the finish. The rest, the other colours, are the journey to get there. Then I waited a while.

The red paint was drying so if I went over the red with other colours, a hint of red or pink would still be visible. Then, once the paint dried, my brother and I decided the concept would be vibrant flash colours and black arches in the corner of the painting. This was because we wanted it to feel like the Olympic rings. First I painted with yellow. And getting me to hit the target, without ruining it, seems virtually impossible. It took me over fifteen minutes just to hit the corner with the yellow. You can see this in the picture.

Then I used the lavender. The lavender seems like a good contrast. To me, the lavender symbolizes peace. I feel like the lavender shows peace of mind. A Paralympian is confident about what they are about to do. Then we moved to blue. We used a vibrant blue to symbolize youth in the games. It also can tie back to the Mandeville music because of the various genres and instruments merged together.

Then I finally used the black. The black was the hard core dedication and the strength that is required of the Paralympians, any athlete, and any person who faces a challenge.


I love this piece. It fits with my feelings at the moment.




Monday, 16 April 2012

Exhibition




May 10, 2012, is when I am having my very first art exhibition at The Red Dot Gallery (not to be confused with the Red Dot Museum) here in Singapore. I am selling all of my art to donate funds to the Make A Wish Foundation. I want to make wishes come true for other kids to pay it forward for my luck of having my wish come true.

I am very very very nervous. I'm nervous because during the exhibition I am going to paint. So, it is not only seeing my art, it is also seeing the process. And, everyone who has seen me paint says that it is much more inspiring to see my process than to see just the pieces.  I am nervous about how people are going to react. I'm excited about having the exhibition in such a beautiful big space. It is like ... huge! (My teacher doesn't enjoy that I used the word "like" so much.) The space is bigger than three auditoriums! I'm nervous about what is going to happen on the night. It makes me smile to think about everyone dressed up, me too, and being all "awwwwwwwwww, that's amazing." It will be so much fun. 

Everyone is invited. 

It also makes me smile to think about creating something new in front of people. I think the music is going to be like totally, like pop or rock-n-roll (there's that "like" again, says my teacher).  I will choose this music because I do well listening to pop, smiling and giggling like a little girl. 

My gallery showing is being publicized everywhere. I have a Facebook account, a twitter account, and website. I've been interviewed by Expat Living and ANZA magazine. I really said a lot of the same for both articles. Sometimes, because the show is being publicized so much, I get nervous and scared. I want to say the right things so everything will go okay on the 10th of May. I really want to raise money for Make A Wish to pay it forward for other kids in Singapore who want a wish made true. 

If you have a Facebook account, please please please please, "like" "like" "like" the Paintability page and keep up what is happening before the exhibition. 

See you on May 10. 




Friday, 13 April 2012

Driving Inspiration Mandeville (Music Response)


video


This musical piece was inspired by the Paralympic games and their values. Inspired by what would be going through a Paralympian's head, and how they might be feeling, the music expresses fear, determination, and perseverance.  I was asked to respond to this piece of music and blog about how it makes me feel and what it means to me. I will paint to this music next week. 

The composers who did this have merged lots of genres and instruments together. This reflects the different perspectives from the different people coming together from all around the world to compete in these wonderful games. At first I think it is bold. The way the strings and piano complement each other and create sort-of a image of preparation. It transitions into a classic rock sound with the guitar. And then when we hear the guitars, I feel like I'm ready. Next I hear a tick/tock, running or wheeling. It's saying fight for it. It's a heartbeat of a fighter who is ready to compete for a gold. 

The kids who did this are awesome. 

Now I feel this next piece of the music is like early morning again, trying to figure out the game plan. It's  motivating and convincing the Paralympians to try their best and forget the weight on their shoulders. Now I hear the finish line. I can see it, but can they make it? There is weight on their shoulders - disappointment if they don't finish, greatness if they do. Now I hear the calm, a light flute. They've already won.

Please listen to the video. For more information on the composers and the school, click the link below. 

Information about the Mandeville Legacy (The birthplace of the Paralympics)

Official site of the Paralympic Committee
Official Site of the 2012 London Paralympic Games

Friday, 16 March 2012

Google

The Dreamcatchers visit Google
Yesterday I went to Google headquarters in Singapore. I was very impressed with the way the office space looks so modern and cool and young.  They had a karaoke machine, a wii. Almost one of their two floors was a massage, game and food center. It had some meeting areas but not a lot. I went to Google with a group of special people from National University Hospital Singapore, the Dreamcatchers Group - who are all kids with chronic or terminal illnesses, and of course my sister and Pat.

Learning about Google Earth & Maps


We went on a tour of the offices and we listened to some people talk about their journey to Google.  As well as , we had some one-on-one time with a Google employee who explained everything and answered any questions or things we wanted to know how to do. I was invited through my hospital team who recommended me be part of Dreamcatchers because of Make a Wish.

I learned that you have to be extremely qualified  to even get an application at Google. You have to have work experience. You have to have organization. You have to be a leader. And you have to have a college degree to work at Google. All of that plus good grades. Um, be active in school activities and you have to show initiative even in high school AND college.

It was interesting not sure I would even get an interview with them though!

Thanks to everyone at Google Singapore for a great day.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

AH! I'm Grumpy this Week.

So frustrated this week. Everything. First, I’m frustrated with my sister. She is so moody and hormonal sometimes. Last night, she made sarcastic remarks but really she was being rude to my mom. I’m frustrated with the fact that my dad is working and I haven’t seen him all week. I see him in the mornings but that’s it. I’m frustrated with Zach leaving for China. He doesn’t even speak Chinese! I’m also jealous because he went, and left me behind. Frustrated with mom because she is doing SUCH an awesome job on the brochures but I also want her helping me. I know that the brochure is important; I just miss her too. However, if she were not doing it, I’d bug her to get it done. I’m just grumpy this week. I’ve fought with Pat over my homework and said some not nice things. I apologized and we’re okay but I need to play it right this week. I am frustrated with my grades at the moment. I’m struggling to catch up from my absence. I just feel like when I am absent I miss something very important. Like, on Tuesday I was absent and I missed a Chinese reading comprehension test and now I’m lost. In science, I don’t understand the formula. I’m just frustrated. I need to sleep. I need to relax and to find a source of relief – like when you are in anger management they give you a rubber band to snap – I need a rubber band to snap. Painting helps me release and so does driving my wheelchair fast.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Painting with Zach

Zach Helping Me - so awesome!

I really like the last painting I did on Wednesday, since my brother helped – Zachary never helps – I felt really happy.  


And, you know, creative? 


It was  just awesome. 


I decided I was doing something brown and proceeded from there into an orangy brown base. And then I realized something was missing. So, I put some black on the left and right hand side in a straight line so that it created a border – almost. 


We added some copper and metallic which added some more depth to the orange and brown making it “pop” more. We added a pillar type “thing” to it and two black pillars by accident. It ended up looking really cool. 


In the end, it looked like a battlefield. I don’t know if that was because of the buttons we placed underneath the canvas or because of the color selection. Or, maybe it was Zach’s Nirvana-type music. 





He wanted me to paint a smiley face in honor of the Nirvana buttons he had brought back from Delhi.How my brother went to India and only brought back Nirvana buttons I have no idea.   


The painting ended up being incredibly, superbly, fantastically AWESOME!!!!


I feel awesome too! (Big Smile.) 

Fault in Our Stars

This week I finished the latest John Green book The Fault in Our Stars, an inspiring story of finding true love while fighting cancer. The protagonist, Hazel Grace, has never opened herself up to the outside world until she meets Augustus Waters. They fall in love with each other as quickly as she breathes. Their relationship is ironically almost one of soul mates because neither one really believes in the idea of soul mates. They end up finding each other and they are each other’s miracles.

            I love the way John Green portrayed a realistic take on what people with a medical condition feel on a daily basis. Green demonstrated that with Hazel Grace’s ability to face death and realistic vulnerability towards life, she feels like she is a grenade - the more she opens herself up to people the more people she will hurt when she dies. 


Feeling of being a “side effect” and saying your disease is how people will remember you,  really made me think about how people will remember me. I’ve thought about it. Thought about, making my grenade smaller so that I don’t hurt anyone. I’ve thought about what happens when I get sick, or something.  But then I think “I have to move on”. What doesn’t “kill me, makes me stronger.” And I believe someday someone somewhere will come up with something that will heal “everyone”.  So I just stay positive and awesome. 

Thursday, 23 February 2012

The PTA County Fair


       The PTA County Fair is tomorrow and I am nervous. I’ve never really shown my paintings on this big of a scale before. I have always just painted for fun. Will anyone like it? Will anyone bid? Who will eventually buy it? If someone buys it I will feel relieved and also scared because it means they have part of me. I put everything into my paintings.  If someone doesn’t bid I’ll be disappointed because it took a lot of effort to make the painting look the way it does.

       If you are interested in one of my paintings or many of my paintings here are some of the pictures from my collection so far. 




Friday, 17 February 2012

Why I Paint.

Painting is helping me express myself through colors.  I paint every Wednesday with Ms. McFadzen in her classroom.  We put tape underneath my wheelchair foot plate so that I have three wide brushes, as well as my wheels, to glide through paint that is on the canvas taped to the floor. Then, I glide through the paint and ask Ms. Mac to change the colors when I see that the canvas whispers a different color.  Painting makes me feel whole again even though I am painting with a chair.
I used to dance whenever I heard an awesome song, anywhere. I still dance. I dance in the car, in the mall, in my bedroom. When I paint, I let loose and let the music take over. When I paint, I get to be a dancer again and show movement and feelings through my colors and patterns.
I’ve never been to middle school art class. While other kids take art, I’ve always taken languages. I’ve always secretly wanted to do art to make a big mess. This is what I do now. I make a huge, gigantic masterpiece mess on the floor. Art is so fun and easy. I love I can’t make a mistake. There are no wrong movements or rules. It’s just me, Ms. Mac, the music, and a blank sheet of canvas. It is like the art room is a pure space. If I’m having a bad day, or week, I can go and paint and I feel happy. I leave the art room more awesome than I came in it.
I’ve always liked being in the spotlight. Whether it is singing or dancing, or even making a big fool out of myself, the feeling of being on the stage stays the same. For now, the art room is my stage and painting is how I perform. Performing give me adrenaline and excitement.  It makes me smile because I know that I am going to paint a beautiful masterpiece of my own creation.
The County Fair is coming up and I am very excited because I donated one of my pieces to the PTA. I encourage you to bid on my painting so that I know that I am going in the right direction with my art work. 

Friday, 10 February 2012

Paralympics

I'm FAMOUS! The London Olympics might put my blog on their website! And I am SUPER EXCITED! This means I will blog more and post more of my art adventures.

Stay tuned.

More Wheely Art

If you are interested... buy one of my paintings at the County Fair at Singapore American School. My paintings will be in the silent auction as long as possible. The money raised will go to the Make a Wish Foundation. Stay tuned. We're trying to upload another Wheely Art video.

Growing Up

Growing up isn't the easiest thing in the world, for anyone. It is also the hardest thing I have to do. Because I want to be an independent teenager and I have to learn to step back and let other people do stuff for me too. The problem is, I started this when I was nine. Others start "growing up" once they get to middle school. It's different for me. It is different because I have to move forward from a hospital bed and move on. Growing up is hard because in school, I'm not really sure how to fit in, I don’t like to talk about my issues with anyone but my family, and I complain a lot.
          I don't fit in. School is school but often, I just go through the motions. I try to be the same person who I was before the accident. My wheelchair can sometimes be a wall. Even though some kids say hi to me and I smile back, sometimes the wheelchair prevents any further conversation. It just gets in the way physically, like one of those bulky transformer action figures. Also, talking is such a physical act with kids. If I'm talking to one of my friends, I block four lockers just to talk to them. Sometimes though I choose not to talk to friends, I can be antisocial. I should try and be more social. I really should invite more friends over to my house and do things with them;
activities or something. I should invite more friends to eat lunch with me. I should hang out with friends more during break. Maybe I could decorate my wheelchair with different kinds of paint. (I paint on Wednesday afternoons. It’s awesome.)
          Growing up is also hard for me because I don’t like to talk about my issues with anyone but my family. My family is an unbiased audience. I talk about things with my 10-year old sister, or my parents, who are old, but not with kids at school. I hear kids at school talking about their problems and I wish I could too. Their problems are “so-and-so didn’t invite me to hang out” when my problems are “my ventilator is out of battery”. I don’t want to talk to them about my “problems” because mine are not so easy to fix.  But, I should confide in my friends and tell them how I am feeling; my ventilator or my argument with my little sister. My friends would care and listen because they do care about me.
          Growing up can also be hard for me because I complain A LOT. I’m 13. I complain. Sometimes I really act like a little kid when I’m supposed to be acting mature. Any teenager does this, but me, I feel like I’m held to a different standard. I’m supposed to be respectful and mature no matter what. I need to not complain as much. I should vent together my friends and then I’d feel much better. Really, I just shouldn’t complain. As if.
          In the end, growing up is hard for everybody, not just me. I guess I am a bit melodramatic. But, what kid isn’t. Just ask my brother.