Friday, 10 February 2012

Growing Up

Growing up isn't the easiest thing in the world, for anyone. It is also the hardest thing I have to do. Because I want to be an independent teenager and I have to learn to step back and let other people do stuff for me too. The problem is, I started this when I was nine. Others start "growing up" once they get to middle school. It's different for me. It is different because I have to move forward from a hospital bed and move on. Growing up is hard because in school, I'm not really sure how to fit in, I don’t like to talk about my issues with anyone but my family, and I complain a lot.
          I don't fit in. School is school but often, I just go through the motions. I try to be the same person who I was before the accident. My wheelchair can sometimes be a wall. Even though some kids say hi to me and I smile back, sometimes the wheelchair prevents any further conversation. It just gets in the way physically, like one of those bulky transformer action figures. Also, talking is such a physical act with kids. If I'm talking to one of my friends, I block four lockers just to talk to them. Sometimes though I choose not to talk to friends, I can be antisocial. I should try and be more social. I really should invite more friends over to my house and do things with them;
activities or something. I should invite more friends to eat lunch with me. I should hang out with friends more during break. Maybe I could decorate my wheelchair with different kinds of paint. (I paint on Wednesday afternoons. It’s awesome.)
          Growing up is also hard for me because I don’t like to talk about my issues with anyone but my family. My family is an unbiased audience. I talk about things with my 10-year old sister, or my parents, who are old, but not with kids at school. I hear kids at school talking about their problems and I wish I could too. Their problems are “so-and-so didn’t invite me to hang out” when my problems are “my ventilator is out of battery”. I don’t want to talk to them about my “problems” because mine are not so easy to fix.  But, I should confide in my friends and tell them how I am feeling; my ventilator or my argument with my little sister. My friends would care and listen because they do care about me.
          Growing up can also be hard for me because I complain A LOT. I’m 13. I complain. Sometimes I really act like a little kid when I’m supposed to be acting mature. Any teenager does this, but me, I feel like I’m held to a different standard. I’m supposed to be respectful and mature no matter what. I need to not complain as much. I should vent together my friends and then I’d feel much better. Really, I just shouldn’t complain. As if.
          In the end, growing up is hard for everybody, not just me. I guess I am a bit melodramatic. But, what kid isn’t. Just ask my brother. 


  1. Wow. You have articulated adolescence almost perfectly, and yet, as you say, your issues are different that others your age. It's hard when your friends can't relate to your problems, but I still think you deserve to talk about it with them. And they deserve to hear about what you are going through. You deserve your melodrama too!

  2. This post made me laugh Chelsea because you are so clearly a teenager, a smart one for sure, and a teenage with very different problems, but still a teenager in the fullest sense of the word. I like it, especially the bit about your parents 'who are old'.
    Loraine x