Thursday, 11 October 2012

Change

Change is a very fickle thing.  You can never have too much but sometimes it gets overwhelming.  From changing schools or countries to changing your hair color or style, change is very different.  Whether it's good or not, is up to you.  The change in my life always seems to be dramatic.  It was big.  Since that change, everything that's changed since isn't as big.  Until my brother goes off to college.  That will be a BIG change.

This week I'm becoming nostalgic when it comes to Zach.  Every time I have lunch at school and I'm not in the same place as him, I try to get a sneak glimpse of him while he is having fun with his friends. He doesn't see me or at least I hope he doesn't.  But I see him.  And I know that for the rest of the day, I got a glimpse of Zach and he's alright.  With everything going on with me right now, it's important for me to get these glimpses so that he reminds me that I'm alright too.

My sister, however, I do not share this nostalgia with.  In fact, whenever I see her at school, it's as if we play a competition.  Who can act like the bigger pain in the ass?  Of course in my mind, she'll always win.  Maybe she doesn't see it as I do, but I always win in her mind too.  She is becoming more annoying and a bigger bigger sister.  She is trying to fill my shoes, even though I haven't gone anywhere.  Sometimes I wish she would remember how to be an 11 year old girl because she will always be my little sister - always.

Even though I talk the talk, they will always be my siblings and only I am allowed to make fun of them and pick on them.  Because it's my way of showing them that I am still here and I can still be the person I was.

This week in school, I've had a change in perspective.  For it finally hit me that I'm in high school and there is no room to mess up.  You always have to be on your game.  You always have to make sure that your mom doesn't see your grades.  Oops.  You always have to try your best and yet still try and be a kid.

Art helps me deal with this change.  And right now, it's doing a fantastic job.  I'm finally learning that art is my safe haven for all of my problems and that I truly go out of the art room better than I came in.

I know I'm late with this blog entry but with school being school, it's just finally getting around.

Until next time, ta-ta.

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