Wednesday, 12 December 2012

It's Christmas Time

I have mixed feelings about Christmas.  If you ask anyone else some will say it's the happiest time of the year.  I will say when is it over?  I like to avoid Christmas and the feelings I feel when it comes around each year.  Christmas reminds me of the hospital and old memories of me walking.  Would you honestly say you still like Christmas if you were me?  Sometimes it can be cool: the music, the lights, the aroma and aura of happiness and joy.  But none of those elements combined can take away my guilt, sadness or grief.  But I always get a wish list every year so here is mine for this year.

1. A book tree of all of the latest fantasy fiction books like the one in the high school library. That tall, that big.

2. New wheels and spares.  While my wheels get really cool every time I paint I feel like I need new ones for school and for each exhibition I do.

3.  A phone.  I don't care who says what about me.  I currently have my brother's old iPhone but I don't have a sim card or a number so it's really just an itouch that looks like an iPhone   I just want the freedom of calling someone or having my parents ask me what time I want picking up by calling or text.  It sounds ordinary but it's so far from it.

4. A bunch of movies.  While I love music and all I'm currently more obsessed about movies and books than I am about music.  Because there are more movies that I would love to watch again than there are songs and stories such as the latest Twilight and  then there is the latest Underworld  and of course theres Brave.  And then some old movies as well like Love Actually  and One Day.

5.  To rearrange my room.  I'm currently hating my room so I would love to redecorate it not with paint or anything but just reorganize it.  Add more shelves, remove a bunch of stuff and add a doorknob with a lock.  I'm currently without a lock on my door.  How crazy would you be without true privacy?

6.  A haircut.  Possible highlights, maybe color highlights like red or something insane but hair length goes shorter like much, much shorter.  Possibly pixie cut.  Because I need a way for my care takers to hold me they've always pulled my pony tail.  Even though it sounds insane it works but I'm done, I'm so done with the pulling of the pony.  It is just frustrating because it is just a pull and it can change my whole position and state.

So, this my wish list of what I want before I'm a sophomore.  I'm giving mom and dad a little leeway and time.  But until then I'm trying not be the Grinch of Christmas, it's just really hard.   But in the meantime if you would like to see me embarrass myself I am performing in the high school winter collage where I will sing a bunch of stuff and I will look really pretty.  It's on Friday the 14th at 7pm.  If you come great if not, great.

Since I am in the mood I will leave you with a current favorite song.

Some Nights- Glee. This song expresses how I feel and am feeling.

Ta, Ta